The Practical Princess and the Playboy

Author:  WhizGidget

Disclosure: Warner Brothers Television Distribution and Shoot The Moon Productions owns these characters, as well as to the writers, and actors who created and portrayed them.

Timing and assumptions:  This covers the entire storyline… in which case, it’s to canon.

Written:  January 31, 2001

Rating: G

Archive: at, and I’d be honored to be elsewhere, just email me and let me know where (

Summary: the whole story, told fairy tale style.

Once upon a time, a long time ago… say, the early to mid 80’s, in a kingdom called Arlington, there lived a practical princess called Amanda.  She lived in a white castle with her mother, the princess called Dotty, and her two sons, the princes: Philip and Jaime.

Princess Amanda was a very ultra-practical princess – she knew where to find the best bargains, and alternate uses for cola in cleaning the house.   And she was a very kind princess as well.  You see, Princess Amanda didn’t think much of class or difference; she did her own housecleaning, after all.  And there was a gentle boring peasant who loved the princess.  He was a simple man, who oft thought that he could predict the weather.  There were others like him across the land that thought that they could tell people what the weather would be like for the next few days, but they had a 90% probability of being wrong.   This peasant’s name was Dean.

Princess Dotty thought that her daughter should be married, and she didn’t think much of class either.  She thought that this peasant Dean was a wonderful man, one that you could confide your deepest thoughts and feelings to.    The Princess Amanda, however, wasn’t as enthusiastic about marrying the peasant; she thought that there was something more to life, but in her life as a princess she had been sheltered and did not know much of the world.

Well, one day, the kind Princess Amanda found herself in her nightclothes rushing to assist the peasant in his travels.  After sending him off, she was approached by a frantic, but devastatingly handsome servant.  Well, he was dressed as a servant, and begging her to take a package and give it to a man in a red hat.   “Please, do this.  You will never have to see me again.”  As I have said previously, she was a kind princess, and she took pity on this poor, scared servant, and agreed to deliver the package.  Unfortunately, Amanda got scared, and confused, and there were too many men wearing red hats, so she took the package home.

That was the beginning of the end of Princess Amanda’s relationship with the peasant Dean.   And the beginning of the education of our lovely princess as to the wondrous things that went on in the world.   She had long dreamed of adventure and intrigue, but how would a practical princess find such exploits?  The handsome servant brought them to her, or rather, brought her to them.  You see, the servant was not what he seemed.  He was part of an underground world of intrigue and adventure, and he was quite the playboy.  But he did not have any sense of emotions, or how to care about people.  And this made the princess very sad because she could see that he was lonely in the truest sense of the word.   The downside, besides the playboy’s lack of emotion, to all of the adventuring was that the princess was seeing her mother and sons less often, and telling taller and taller tales to disguise her secret life adventuring with the playboy.

The princess, not knowing what to do when adventuring with the playboy, often found herself in trouble.  Sometimes she was alone, and sometimes she was with the playboy.  She was often more comfortable with this knight in creamy leather jacket, whose name was Lee; she felt very safe with him.   But that made the playboy scared, as stated before, because he didn’t now know how to care about people, and often came off all wrong.  He hurt the princess’ feelings more times than he cared to admit, but did not know how to apologize to her.  He did not want to become friends with her or care for her, as that would be an emotional investment.   If he got attached, then someone or something would just take her away; the princess was too important for something to happen to her.

As time wore on, the practical princess’ views on solving problems became invaluable to the playboy, and he found himself being less and less of a playboy.  He found himself thinking about the Princess Amanda more often and what it would be like to live in the kingdom of Arlington.   And he was hurting her feelings less often, but couldn’t bring himself to tell her that she was a good adventurer too.

But alas, he thought, she would never deem me worthy of her affections?  Not after discounting her wont for adventure, then scoffing her ideas; hurting her time and again?  But she continued to join him when he went adventuring… he did not understand the Princess, but then, it seemed, that no one male ever understood a woman, so why should he understand a princess?  Especially one that seemed to have a gift for getting into trouble and talking non-stop.

Princess Amanda was having similar thoughts – she was increasingly intrigued and interested by the playboy, but he had traveled the world, and met very mysterious and exotic women – whatever would he want with a practical suburban princess?   And she figured that the answer was ‘nothing’ after she met the most recent of his beautiful girlfriends – she could speak multiple languages, had many interesting travels in her life, and looked very much like the princess.   And so she found, that he wanted a princess all right, just not one so practical as she.  Or more specifically, anyone but she.

After a rather harrowing experience, however, the playboy realized that the practical princess was exactly what he wanted, that he did have a heart and felt this amazing sense of love for the princess, and became determined to win her heart.   He stopped seeing all his previous girlfriends, even moving all his belongings to someplace else to live so that they couldn’t show up on his doorstep.  And he started acting more and more like a newfound knight in shining armor – except he wore leather jackets instead, as they were much more comfortable than plate mail.  And then tragedy struck.

The newfound knight was being accused of being a traitor to his country.  Many people wanted him dead – others thought throwing him in the dungeons for 100 years would be sufficient.  And the princess did not know what to do.  But the knight named Lee did – since he was going to leave the kingdom to try and prove himself, he went to the princess and told her that he loved her with all of his heart.  But the princess wasn’t about to stand for it – he was not going to enter her life with a package and leave it by telling her he loved her.  She was going to go on this adventure with him.  And so she did.

In the end, they ended up proving that the knight was not a traitor, and they fell more and more in love until one day they ran off and got married.  And although the princess’ family did not care about class or rank, they did not tell anyone of their marriage.  They were more in fear that enemies they made in their underground adventures would want to hurt her family.  And so the princess and the former playboy-now knight pretended for a while that they weren’t involved with one another, and they lived apart.   And their hearts hurt terribly.

One day, while trying to protect the kingdom, their secret had to be revealed.  The princes were very excited because the knight was a trendsetter, and had some very nice horses pulling a fine silver carriage that they wanted to ride in.   The Princess Dotty was a little sad that they had hidden this from her, and scolded them about being sensitive to rank, even though she knew that her daughter had never cared about such things.   But she got over it, and threw a wonderful party for everyone she could think of to celebrate her daughter’s newfound happiness.

And so, the former playboy who became a trustworthy knight now found himself emotionally transformed into a prince, and moved into the white castle in the kingdom called Arlington, and they all lived happily ever after.

The End.