Heaven Help the Lonely Ones

Author:  WhizGidget :D

Written:  April 10 – 11, 2001

Rating: PG
Archive: At the smkfanfic list; at fanfiction.net, and I'd be honored to be elsewhere, just email me and let me know where

Timing/Summary: A few nights in Lee's life.  Before Arlington, before the train station, long before Amanda.    Let's say very early 80s.

Author's Note:  This is short, and fluffy, but it's no marshmallow.  If you don't like the idea of Lee on the prowl (even if Amanda didn't exist in his life at that point) don't read this.

My ego loves praise.  The realist in me needs truthful comments (good and bad).   And flames will be used to torch old paperwork in my office…

Disclosure: Warner Brothers Television Distribution and Shoot The Moon Productions owns these characters, as well as to the writers, and actors who created and portrayed them.  I'll put them back when I'm done playing…  the story and characters not owned by Shoot the Moon or WB are mine… all mine…

The song "Big Mistake" was written by P. Cetera and Galpin, copyright 1986, and appears on `Solitude/Solitaire' by Peter Cetera Lyrics are set off, centered, in italics, or otherwise marked.


Chapter 1: Big Mistake

                 Keeps them all waiting
                 They're standing in line
             He never has to worry about being alone
                 He's taking his own sweet time

Cindi swept her eyes over the patrons of the bar, hoping to catch sight of someone who would be worth her trouble.  As her eyes moved towards the door, she noticed that a few other women's attention had focused on a worthy target.  He was tall, sandy haired, and drop dead gorgeous.  He flashed a quick smile at the room in general, and she immediately fell for it.  After hours in the smoky bar, this night was not going to be a waste after all.

                   The man's mighty hot
                    Believe it or not
            Every woman's after what the big boy's got
        They know it's all a lie, but they're taking their shot

She approached him slowly, knowing that she was drawing attention to herself – tall, blond in a low cut blue silk dress – how could she not?  She'd turned away a decent number of men through the night hoping that she'd meet Mr. Right.  No one even came close until this guy had walked through the door.  And there were a couple of other women who she'd previously seen with this guy.  They had walked by, trailing a hand along his shoulders, or sitting down next to him. But they didn't seem to catch his eye this night.

He was as much a regular in the place as she was.  They had obviously seen each other before, but hadn't connected with each other any of the previous nights, making other choices for their nighttime company.   She was sure that this night would be different.

               He is such a smooth talking man,
                They never want to let him go
                He'll be gone when the morning comes,
              Then they'll be the first to know

He took notice of the blond walking slowly past him, with a casual air about her, but with a definite message sent directly to him.  He gracefully excused himself from the redhead he was sitting next to, without hurting her feelings but still making it clear that he was interested.  Just not tonight – a long lost friend had just walked by.

He followed the blond casually out of the bar, wondering where his travels was going to take him tonight.  Just outside, she turned around and asked if he wanted to buy her a drink.   His deep voice sent shivers down her spine immediately as he asked "Your place, or mine?"

                It's just a big mistake
                  Such a big mistake
               Well, it won't be the first
        It definitely won't be the last one you make
                Just a big mistake

Cindi stretched out in the satin sheets – so slippery, but worth the time, trouble and luxury – especially when she had someone to share the experience with.  And the man she picked up in the bar the previous night had been worth it.   She didn't bother looking at the clock – from the sunlight pouring in, it was fairly obvious it was late morning, and they had spent most of the night tangling those sheets up.  She turned over, hoping that the morning would be even half as much fun as the night, only to find the bed empty.   After the night they had, she was sure that he was lurking somewhere in the apartment.  And perhaps they could pick up in the kitchen where they left off in the bedroom.

             In the morning when you find him gone
            In the morning when you know you're wrong

She got up, wrapped her robe around her, and quickly figured out that he had left.  None of his clothes were present, and the bathroom light he had insisted on keeping on had been turned off.    She found a note, scribbled on a bar napkin, left for her to find by the bathroom sink – the only evidence that he'd even been there that night, and not a fantasy conjured up in the night – "Had a great time.  Thanks, Lee".


            Sooner or later they're gonna find out
           He never cares about the hearts he's breaking tonight
                 He's letting it all hang out
                    The man's mighty tough
              Better leave before it starts to get too rough

A week later, Lee found himself in the same bar, looking around.  So many women, so many losers trying to score with them.  There was Kimber, Candi, Sami… oh, and Cindi from a couple of nights ago – the song in the bar echoed his thoughts of Cindi:  Oh, what a night… And there was that redhead he kept running into that he'd dropped for Cindi.   She was gorgeous, funny, smart, wasn't impressed by his car, and waved her hand away dismissively when he tried to impress her with what he did for a living.  He'd never gotten to tell any truths or lies – she didn't seem to care, or just wasn't hung up on the superficial things.  He approached her quickly, flashing that million- watt smile when she turned his way.

Cindi watched from across the bar, as he made his way towards the redhead.  She shook her head regretfully for a moment that she'd let him get away that night and leave nothing but a short note behind.  She couldn't even let him walk away with a nice morning after memory.   No matter.  The very attractive dark haired man sitting next to her was definitely a keeper.  The redhead could have Lee.

          You might think you oughta call him Mr. Right
            Baby you might get a big surprise tonight

Denise turned from the bar, ready to leave, when she spotted the lean man heading her way.  That smile, the look in his eyes – she shivered imperceptibly as he said hello in that deep velvet voice of his. She'd hoped she'd see him again.  They'd had drinks before at the bar, but she'd left when an old friend had shown up.    Last week, he'd played payback by excusing himself to run after an opportunistic blond she saw here with a different guy every week.  He'd left her with a very smooth excuse that she was an old friend.  Perhaps she was, but that didn't really matter.   Tonight was tonight, and maybe it would be different.

She'd be lying if she didn't admit to the electricity she felt every time he'd sat down next to her at the bar.   He was handsome, almost too perfect; he had tried to impress her with facts about his suit, his car, and his job.  She didn't care.  He could have been a pauper who managed to get lucky at the Salvation Army store - he was intelligent, and didn't treat her like every other girl in the bar. Her mama always said she'd never meet the man of her dreams in a bar, but it looked like this time, mama might be wrong.

Lee sat down next to Denise, lightly placing a hand on her back, noting the small shiver that that movement had caused.  He bought her a drink, they chatted about nothing for a while – politics, the weather, music - and then he asked if she wanted to get some air. She'd smiled, and they left together.  Tonight wasn't going to be a waste of time, he thought to himself.

She didn't think so either.  This was a guy she definitely wanted to spend some more time with and get to know.  On a long-term basis. They walked around Washington, chatting more about little things they wanted from life.  From what he was saying, Denise could tell he was lonely.  He was looking for that little thing that was missing in his life, but he couldn't put a name to what exactly it was.

From what he was saying, Denise took this to be the first of many nights they would spend together searching for that something.

             In the morning when you find him gone
                      It's a big mistake
                   You know you've been lied to
             In the morning when you know you're wrong
                      Such a big mistake
                   There's no one to cry to


The next morning, Denise turned over and reached out to find that her companion of the previous night was no longer there.   "Lee?" she called out hopefully, knowing that she wouldn't get an answer.   Deep down she knew that he'd leave at the first chance he got, but was still hoping that he'd be the man she'd been looking for.

A few tears threatened to roll down her cheeks, and she scolded herself for not knowing better, not listening to her mama, and
feeling very alone.

He hadn't even left a note.

             In the morning when you find him gone
              In the morning you'll be so alone

Chapter 2: There in the Dark

                Moment by moment, day after day
                  Trying your best to forget
             It's all behind you, it's part of the past
                   You've got no time for regrets
              Time to start over with somebody new
                 You've got nothing more to lose

It had been a rough day overall for Scarecrow.  He'd been chased by KGB agents, given a hard time by his section chief, Billy Melrose, annoyed to boiling point by Francine Desmond, an old girlfriend and his section chief's assistant.  And there were many other things too numerous to want to recall.   He started paging through one of his little black books, hoping to find a good time waiting in the pages, but nothing was appealing to him.   His day was close to over, but the night was just about to start.   Giving up on the books, he decided to head home, shower, and head for a nightclub to see what he could see.

               Out for the evening, dressed for the kill
                      Leaving your troubles behind
                    Dangerous places, dangerous times
                   Leave with the first one you find
               Live for the moment, who cares if it's right
                  Who needs tomorrow? You've got tonight

Stetson looked at himself in the mirror, pretty pleased with what he saw.  Fine tailored suit, not a hair out of place, freshly shaven – what woman could resist?  Certainly not anyone he had already dated, but they didn't appeal to him tonight.  He was hoping to find somebody new.  Someone who could give a name to that something that was missing in his life.

Billy had tried to convince him that he needed some stability in his life – he can't live in the bars forever – and that was a potential security risk.   Every agent's life was picked over with a fine toothcomb, but this agent still persisted in haunting the bars.  He refused to be convinced that he'd ever find happiness behind a picket fence with a wife and kids.  He didn't even have a partner, although Billy was threatening to team him off with some new guy, Aaron or Eric, or something like that.   It didn't matter.  Somehow Scarecrow would find a way to get his way and work with whomever suited him best at the moment.

Lee Stetson was a loner, and was better off that way.   He'd lived that way since he was a little kid being shuffled from one military base to another, and that's the way it was going to be.

Except at night, when the shadows came out to play, Lee wanted a warm bed.  Preferably warming with someone else in it.   The problem was, as Billy Melrose saw it, is that it's a different someone all the time, and sometimes it's not even Scarecrow's own bed.

He pulled up to the bar and parked his Porsche, before checking his hair in the mirror just one last time.   He walked in, confident, wondering what he'd find this night.  His eyes settled on a pretty brunette at the bar, wearing a short red dress that should have been illegal.  Everything about her said, "come and get me, I'm available."  And that's just what Lee needed.

She noticed him immediately as he headed her way.  Tall, sandy hair, incredibly gorgeous and well built.   She wondered if he was that well built under the clothes.  He carried himself confidently, and she knew that her barstool was his destination.  She turned her back on the guy she'd been talking with, relaxed her posture back into the bar, and smiled up at him as he approached.


             There in the dark, under covers of love
        Body language is taking you somewhere you shouldn't go
            First name the last thing that you need to know

He opened his eyes, as it was still dark out, the unfamiliar room lit only by the light from the adjoining bathroom.   He could make out the red dress thrown casually on the chair across the room, and his clothes were strewn about as well.  He got up carefully so as not to disturb the woman sleeping there, and look around for something to write a note on.  As he dressed, he realized that there was no point – they hadn't bothered exchanging names last night, or if they had, he certainly didn't remember hers.   If she had half the headache he had, she wasn't going to remember much either.

He looked around one last time to be sure nothing was left behind, and made his way out of her apartment.   He had to go home and check his messages and make sure that there weren't any problems that he would have to face when he got into the office later that morning.


             In the morning, you're out on the street
                Now's not the time for regrets
            Some things are done for the thrill of it all
                  Some things you'll never forget
          Live for the moment, who cares if it's right
              Who needs tomorrow, you've got tonight

It was shaping up to be another stellar day in the life of the Scarecrow.  When he'd gotten home and called in, there were messages stacked up from Billy to call him.   He'd meant to sit down for a few minutes and ended up falling asleep and not strolling into the bullpen until well after 10.

After getting chewed out for what seemed like an eternity over his attendance and need for structure in his life, Lee headed back to his desk.  He pulled out another of his black books, looking for whatever it was that was missing in his life.  He didn't find it in this particular volume.

Maybe he'd find it tonight at Nedlinger's.