THE PRINCESS AND THE IGUANA

By: Kim W.

Summary: Answer to a Challenge

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply



"Well, Well, I never knew you could do that with ordinary toothpaste. The things you learn in suburbia" Francine quipped as Amanda continued to fill small pin holes in the wall of the blonde's apartment.

"Francine, just how did your wall become riddled with all these pinpricks and how do you figure that I should be the one to help you get rid of them. All I volunteered for was helping you pack."

"The only stipulation you put on helping me was that you didn't have to go near Jonathan's cage. The pinpricks" Francine paused for dramatic effect and ran her fingers lightly over the marred wall and smiled a devilish smile that made Amanda a little queasy "well once again your partner has left you behind to do the dirty work"

"I'm not really sure I want to ask this, but what has Lee got to do with all these thousands of little holes in your wall"

"It all happened during the period when we were dating"

"Dating is a relative term"

"Well I thought you might prefer that to torrid love affair"

Amanda shook her head, trying to will away the mental pictures Francine was determined to conjure up. Lee and Francine had given up the specifics on their relationship shortly after Candice had reappeared. Although she had always felt a match between Lee and Francine should have been a page out of hell's handbook, she now understood what threw them together and why he had chosen to remain friends with Francine. A thing Love ‘em and leave ‘em Scarecrow never did. " Alright Francine, give up the details on the wall and I won't invite Beaman to your house warming party."

"You know, they can say what they want about pregnant women being so wonderful, but Amanda I must tell you it's drained the sense of humor right out of you. Must be all the preservatives in the pickles and pepperoni you guys eat."

"Spill it blondie, or you're on your own with this mess"

"Oh all right, it's really not that interesting. When Jonathan left me at the altar, I was still reeling from losing Candice in that explosion. I'm mean I'm a very strong independent woman but there are some things even chocolate and diamonds can't fix. Well something about being in this business gave Lee a superman complex, he always felt he had to rescue the proverbial damsel in distress. I was in distress, so he brought over pictures of Jonathan, we pinned them to the wall, and threw darts at them until they became unrecognizable."

"And you mean to tell me in all these years, you've never fixed them."

"Well at first they were a symbol of a special time that Lee and I shared, not that I get caught up in all the sentimental nonsense. Then it was a symbol that I could get through anything. In the span of a year, my father died, my best friend and partner was blow sky high and the man I loved more than life itself left me standing at the altar. If I could get through that, then I could get through anything. After Jonathan came back, they were a reminder to him, that if he ever thought about leaving me again it wouldn't just be pictures of him I pinned to the wall"

Amanda laughed as she pictured the heated conversation Jonathan and Francine had probably had over the holes in the wall. Leggy blonde or not, Francine could be pretty frightening when she needed to be.

"Well after the thrill of throwing darts wore off, Lee decided that I needed something else to get my mind off Jonathan, a replacement if you will" Francine laughed heartily at the memory " That's how I ended up with Jonathan II . Lee said that Iguana was the closest thing to Jonathan that he could find in the pet store"

Amanda laughed and shook her head, glad that Lee wasn't serious about her when Dean exited her life. "Well it looks like we're almost done here. Is there anything else you can think of that we might have forgotten?"

"Just the engagement ring in the bathroom sink drain, but I don't know how we're going to get it out"

"Francine why do you keep diamonds in your sink drain"

Francine shrugged her shoulders as if the answer should have been obvious to Amanda "Just as a reminder that no matter how good things seem they can always go down the drain"

"I really don't have any idea how the literary world gets along without your sense of the poetic Francine"

"My talents lie in mingling at embassy parties and royal receptions, although I must admit that the Russians have become exceedingly boring since they traded caviar for Big Macs.'

"Actually you know that doesn't sound half bad" It seemed like she was always hungry these days. "Let's go fish that diamond out of your sink and go get some lunch", she suggested as she tossed the tube of toothpaste to Francine.

"What are we going to fish it out with everything is all ready packed"

"Let's see I think the gear may still be in the back of the Wagoneer from our camping trip last weekend. I'm sure there's a hook in there and if not I saw an old bubble gum machine in the lobby, maybe we could use some bubble gum on the end of something to get it out"

" Forget it Amanda, let's just go and feed those babies you're carrying. Jonathan and Lee can come and fish it out after they finish their Ultimate game with the boys in the park"

"Ultimate, shmultimate, its still Frisbee to me"

"Men" both women said simultaneously

"Just let me put Jonathan on his leash, and grab my tiara"

"A tiara, have you lost your mind, what kind of restaurant is going to let us in if you're walking an iguana and carrying a tiara"

"Oh Amanda, don't be silly. I'm not going to carry it, I'm going to wear it"