The Stetsons on Millionaire

I'm just borrowing Regis, Amanda, Lee and the rest of the Scarecrow cast for a little fun and games. I don't get any money from this. My thanks to all the producer, writers and directors of "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" and "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" and their networks.

I tried to make up the questions, rather then duplicate what they had on the show. If I have it's unintentional, as I haven't seen all the shows, played the board game or computer game-yet, except the demo. I used all sorts of reference books and won't bother to name them. It got harder and harder as I went on. I appreciate the "Millionaire" writers much more now.

I also made references to things that happened to Lee and Amanda that we see in the episodes.

Amanda is in the chair waiting for the first fastest finger question of the "Who wants to be a millionaire? Couples Edition." Lee is sitting behind her, his fingers crossed that she'll know the correct order of the first question. He knows her fingers are fast. She was the first one finished in every test.

Amanda is wearing the red pantsuit she wore in the casino when they were trying to find out more about Dotty's boyfriend, "Harry Beaumont." Lee figured it had to be her luckiest outfit. He couldn't believe she still had it and fit into it after fourteen years and two more babies later.

Regis comes out looking as dapper as ever in a pin-striped suit, black shirt and tie.

"Welcome to Who Wants to be a Millionaire's Couple Edition. Let's not waste any time. Let's have the first fastest finger question.

Put these European cities in geographical order, starting in the West:

Munich, b Salzburg, c London, d, Paris

Lee held his breath. They had been to all of these cities, three of them in 1984 and Paris on the honeymoon they had after the wedding for everyone in 1988. Since they hadn't visit them all at once, he wasn't sure if she knew the order.

He didn't have to worry. Regis announced the answer:

"London, Paris Munich, Vienna. Let's see who got it right. All right, about half of you. Amanda, you did it in the fastest time. Lee, come down here and join Amanda in the hot seats."

(Audience claps).

Lee is wearing a nice dark suit, white shirt and red tie. He wanted to be more informal, but Amanda looked so nice. Her hair is now long, dark and straight except for a slight turn under at the end and parted in the middle. They join hands and he puts his hand under her elbow as she gets into the hot seat on the left. He brushes his hand across her back as he goes behind her and gets in the chair on the right.

Regis says. "You have Amanda's mother and son, Philip in the relationship seats. Hi, Dotty and Philip. Amanda, Lee, Let's play who wants to be a Millionaire? (he points at them). You know the rules, the lifelines. é─«

For $100, Which of these animals is hatched from an egg?

a. dog
b. rhinoceros
c. duck
d. Ronald McDonald

Amanda: c. duck, final answer.

Regis. Lee?

Lee.: yea, duck, final

Yes, that's right. Now for $200.

Southpaw is another word for a person who is left-handed. (Lee raises his left hand and smiles.) b. in their second year of college. c. in Antarctica. d. six feet underground.

Looks like Lee already knows. Lee, your answer is A? (He nods.) Final?

Amanda & Lee: Final.

All right, now, for $300.

Which phrase completes this saying "Rome wasn't builté─Â?
a. On asphalt
b. in a day.
c. by slaves.
d. by Kaiser

Amanda: in a day, final.

Regis: Lee?

Lee: Final.

Regis: Lee and Amanda on a roll. Now are you ready for $500.

Lee: Sure.

Regis: Where is the Jefferson Memorial?
a. Williamsburg
b. Philadelphia
c. Washington D.C.
d. New York City

Amanda and Lee together (smiling): Washington DC final answer.

Just up your way. I take it you've been there.

Amanda. (She thinks about meeting Lee there a couple of times the first week she met him): A few times.

Now for the important $1,000 question. You get this you can't leave with less than a thousand.

Which of these is not a professional football team?
San Francisco Giants
b. San Diego Chargers
Philadelphia Eagles
d. Minneapolis Vikings?

Amanda turns to Lee: Should we call someone?

Lee: No I know it. A. San Francisco Giants. Final answer.

Amanda: I thought the Giants were in New York.

Lee: Yes they are a football time in New York, but in San Francisco the baseball team is the Giants.

Amanda: Okay, whatever you say. A, final answer.

Regis: Very good. Lets' take a breather. (They go to a commercial)

Amanda turns to Lee and whispers something and he whispers back and they kiss.

Dun dun dun (music for coming back).

Regis: We're here with Lee and Amanda Stetson from Arlington, Virginia. How long have you been married?

Amanda says "Fourteen years" at the same time Lee says "Fifteen" years.

Regis: It's been so long you don't remember?

Amanda: We had two weddings. We eloped kept it secret and then had another one the next year after we told everyone.

Regis: Oh my Gosh! You said all that in one breath. Lee, what is it that you do?

Lee: I'm a filmmaker. Documentary films. Amanda is now a homemaker. We have four children. Philip up there is the oldest and Jamie is at home with our two young ones, Emily 10, and Rosie 8. (Lee is grinning).

Regis: Dotty, what do you do?

Dotty: Mostly grandmothering, but I like to fly too. My husband taught me. I mean, before we got married. I really surprised my daughter, since I hadn't learned to drive too much before that.

Regis: Okay, let's get back to the game and win this lovely couple a million dollars. For $2,000

Where was the singer Madonna born?
a. New York City
b. Los Angeles
c. Detroit
d. St. Louis

Lee: Should we ask the audience, Amanda?

Amanda: This is a free guess.

Lee: Yea, but we want to advance.

Amanda: Wait, I remember reading about her. She was born in Detroit. Regis the answer is C. Final Answer.

Regis: You're okay with that Lee?

Lee: Yes final.

(Amanda leans over and gets her glass of water, takes a sip, and puts it back. Regis is doing the same and they almost bump heads.)

Regis: Okay, Lee. Need some water too?

Lee: No, I'm fine.

Regis: Okay, we're up to $4,000.

Which of these cities is not in England?
a. Bristol
b. Port Elizabeth
c. Manchester
d. Leeds

Lee: B. Final Answer.

Amanda; You're sure?

Lee. I know all the other ones are, and I think I remember seeing Port Elizabeth on the map of South Africa. I looked when what's her face went there on an assignment for a film.

Amanda just smirks. Okay, final answer.

Regis: Now, for $8,000; in music, who wrote the opera "The Marriage of Figaro.?
a. Rossini
b. Bizet
c. Mozart
d. Pucini

Amanda; That's one of the few I've seen. I love it. c. Mozart, final answer. Lee. You're right. Final answer.

You've just won $8,000. Okay now for $16,000. Who is responsible for writing most of the Declaration of Independence?
a. John Hancock
b. Thomas Jefferson
c. John Adams
d. Patrick Henry

Amanda: Oh my gosh, I've seen it. Well, a copy anyway. Lee, did it say who wrote it? All I know is John Hancock signed it really large.

Lee: I think he forgot to bring his glasses (audience and Regis laughs, Amanda just smirks)

Amanda: Well, I'm glad you're relaxed enough to joke. Do you know the answer, Big Fella?

Lee: Yes, it Thomas Jefferson.

Amanda: You're sure. We may want to call T.P.

Lee: No, I want to save him for the harder questions.

Amanda: We may not get to harder questions that are in his expertise.

Lee: He knows everything. We also have Jamie and Francine.

Amanda: Okay, if you're sure it's Thomas Jefferson.

Lee. Regis, it's b. Thomas Jefferson, final answer.

Regis: Amanda

Amanda: Yes, final.

Regis, You are right. Now for the all important $32,000 question. You get this you can't go home with less than 32 thousand.

(Lee runs a finger under his collar and smiles nervously.)

What "Facts of Life" star is now a director of shows on Nickelodeon and the Disney channel?
a. Nancy McKeon
b. Charlotte Rae
c. Lisa Whelchel
d. Kim Fields

Amanda: Oh my gosh! The kids watch those channels all the time. But I doubt if they know who the directors are or even about the "Facts of Life." That was in the eighties, right? I watched it until I met Lee. But I can't think who would be a director. (She whispers to Lee and he nods).
We want to ask the audience.

Regis: Okay, audience, with your fingers on your keypads, answer a, b, c, or d. Audience votes.

Regis: The audience votes: 65% d. Kim Fields; 24% Nancy McKeon, 9% Charlotte Rae and 2% Lisa Whelchel.

Lee: I guess we should go with the audience. I have no clue.

Amanda: Yea, now that I think about it, it makes the most sense. I read that Lisa Whelchel is traveling around the country with her family and promoting a book. Charlotte Rae was the housemother and is probably retired. Nancy McKeon is on a show on Lifetime.. That leaves Kim Fields. D. Final Answer.

Lee: You mean we wasted a lifeline.

Amanda: I'm sorry, honey. I still think I wanted to be sure and I didn't want to influence the audience.

Regis: Lee, I have to ask.

Lee: Yes, final answer.

Regis: Yes, that's it.

All right, we'll be right back.

Lee takes a sip of water and make-up people come and touch up everyone's faces.

(Music plays and the lights come down).

Regis: We're only five questions away from a million and I haven't asked you what you're going to do with the money.

Lee: I'd like to buy a new house. We never have moved from the house Amanda lived in when I met her. It's always been big enough because Amanda's mother had married by the time we had our third child and then Phillip went to college when the fourth one came. We looked often, but never seemed to find one in our price range that was close enough to work. So, now maybe we can get a nice spread for the kids and the grandkids to visit in the future.

Amanda: Lee, you're rambling. (Regis laughs). We also have the college education of the younger ones to think of.

Regis: Well, I hope you can get there. You're doing fine and still have two lifelines. Now for $64,000

Which talk show host's playing of the game Twister boost it's sales to 3 million in 1966? a. Merv Griffin
b. Johnny Carson
c. Dinah Shore
d. Mike Douglas

Lee: Amanda, you have any idea? I'm not even sure if I was in the country that year.

Oh my gosh! I remember that show. I don't know if it was because I actually saw it live or if I saw it on one of those "best of " specials, but it was on the Tonight Show, starring Johnny Carson. I think it was one of those Gabor sisters he did it with.

Regis: Wow! So, Amanda is b your final answer?

Amanda: Yes

Lee: Me too.

Regis: You are so correct. We're going to have to go to another break and then they'll try for $125.000.

Lee: You're doing great, Amanda. This music is killing me. My head is pounding.

Amanda: Take a deep breath Lee and a sip of water. Try to relax and have fun. Just listen to Regis and me. We'll use the other two lifelines and then stop if we don't know the next answer. She gives him a peck on the cheek and loosens his tie a little, then smiles sweetly at Regis.

The music and lights bring them back into the game.

Regis: Okay, Lee and Amanda. This is getting exciting isn't it?

Amanda: Sure, let's have the next question.

Regis: Okay. Which of these painters left his wife and children in Paris to paint in Tahiti for a number of years?
a. Paul Gaugin
b. Camille Pisarro
d. Georges Seurat
d. Paul Cezanne

Lee: Two of them are named Paul, so if we think one is Paul & we decide to do the 50/50, they'll probably both pop up.

Regis shrugs his shoulders.

Amanda: Is there someone we can call, Lee?

Lee: Maybe we can eliminate some or try to remember if anyone painted more tropical things. I think they're all impressionists.

Amanda: Well, shouldn't we eliminate Camille Pisarro? Isn't that a woman?

Lee: No, it actually is a man, but I don't think he left France, just Paris.

Regis: Lee, you seem to know a bit about art.

Lee: Well, I usually pop into a museum now and then in my travels.

Amanda: So do you know these guys?

Lee: I've seen a few of each one, but I'm trying to think of the pictures.

Amanda: I think we should take the 50/50 or call someone.

Lee: Okay, we'll do the fifty-fifty.

Regis: Computer, please take away two answers, leave the correct one and one incorrect one.

We're left with a. Paul Gaugin and d. Paul Cezanne.

Lee: I think it's Gaugin. Cezanne is more subdued. I can't imagine him painting bright tropical stuff.

Amanda: You're basing this on seeing few pics?

Lee: Yea, and I think I remember a few people he painted that look like South Sea Island people.

Amanda: Okay, we'll go with that.

Regis: Final?

Amanda and Lee: Final

Regis: You are correct! Three more questions and one lifeline left. Lee smiles and runs his hand through his graying hair. Amanda gives him a peck on the cheek.

Regis: Now for $250,000. You're ready, Lee? (Lee nods). Amanda?

Amanda: Yes, Regis.

Regis: What author once used the pseudonym, Dietrich Knickerbocker?
a. Walt Whitman
b. Washington Irving
c. Herman Hesse
d. Franz Kafka

Lee: Who can we call about literature, Amanda?

Amanda: Maybe T.P., but American Lit was my major in college. I think I may still have this book, "History of New York from the Beginning of the World to the End of the Dutch Dynasty." It's actually written by an American.

Lee: So that rules out Hesse and Kafka. No need for the 50 /50.

Amanda: We used that one already anyway. I think the book was written in the early 1800's, so that rules out Whitman. Regis, the answer is b. Washington Irving, Final Answer.

Regis: Is that your Final Answer, Lee?

Lee: It makes sense. I'll trust Amanda on this one. Yes, Final Answer.

Regis: Wow, You've made it to $250,000 and still one lifeline left. I think we need to take a break.

Lee and Amanda hug and kiss and take sips from their glasses of water.

Make-up people come out and powder them and Regis.

Regis: We're back and this handsome D.C. couple is getting close to being millionaires. Amanda, Lee, are you ready for the $500,000 dollar question?é─«

Lee: Sure, let's get this over with. Lee's shoulders come up near his ears as he rubs his hands together.

Regis: Okay, for $500,000, Pomeranian Bay is connected to what sea?
a. Adriatic Sea
b. Ionian Sea
c. North Sea
d. Baltic Sea

Amanda: Lee, where do those little dogs come from?

Lee: What do dogs have to do with this?

Amanda: You know, the Pomeranians. Little furry dogs. Like Dalmatians were from Dalmatia. I guess that's somewhere.

Lee: I don't know about dogs, but I do know where this is. I was there on an assignment for a film in 1980. Pomerania is an area in the north part of Poland and what was then East Germany. I think I remember getting a ride on a boat from there. It was on the Baltic Sea. Those other seas are not near there.

Amanda: I don't know where the Ionian Sea is.

Lee: Oh, it's by Italy, between the Adriatic and Mediterranean.

Regis: You sound like you're good in geography.

Lee: Between my work and helping the boys with homework, I get a lot of practice.

Regis: Is Baltic Sea your final answer?

Lee: Yes. Final.

Amanda: Final

Regis: Oh my gosh! You just won half a million dollars!

Lee and Amanda hug and kiss passionately.

Regis: Just one more question and one more lifeline. This is it. For a million dollars. Amanda, Lee: Sodium Flouroacetate is a compound used:
a. in an analgesic
b. as a photographic fixing agent
c. as a rodent poison.
d. for making soap

A few seconds go by.

Amanda: I think we should call Jamie. He always got A's in chemistry.

Lee: Does he still remember?

Amanda: I hope so. He must use some of it in his doctoring. Regis, we'd like to call my son, Jamie King He's at our house taking care of our daughters.

Regis: Okay, operators, let's get Jamie King on the phone.

Jamie: Hello

Regis: Is this Jamie?

Jamie: Yes it is.

Regis: This is Regis Philbin in New York. Your mother and stepfather are here trying for one million dollars.

Jamie: (Away from the phone): Girls, quiet! Turn down the stereo. Mom and Dad are going for a million. (To Regis) I'm ready. I can't believe they've saved me for the last question. What pressure!

Regis: They've done great so far. They hope this question is right up your alley. I understand you're a resident doctor. We're lucky to catch you at home.

Jamie: I'm got permission to take off a couple of days so I can watch my sisters and be a lifeline.

Regis: Okay, here's Amanda and Lee. You have thirty seconds. Amanda and Lee: Hi Jamie.

Lee: (slowly) Sodium Flouroacetate is a compound used as an analgesic, a photographic fixing agent, as a rodent poison, for making soap.

Jamie: Can you spell that second word?

Amanda: F-l-o-u-r-o-a-c-e-t-a-t-e

Jamie: (quickly) Well, it's poisonous, so it can't be in an analgesic and I doubt it would be in a soap. I've never heard of it in photography, so I'd say a rodent poison.

Lee: How sure are you?

Jamie: Well, I'd say 99.9%

Amanda: Thanks Jamie. Love you.

Regis: Okay, folks. Are you confident in your son, do you want to give a different answer, or walk with half a million?

Lee: He made a good case for his answer, even though he's not an exterminator.

Regis: Have you ever been one?

Lee: I've worn the outfit. For a film.

Regis: I need to know your final answer?

Amanda: c. Rodent poison. Final

Lee: Final

Regis: You are so right! The Stetsons are millionaires!

Dotty and Phillip come down to the stage and they all hug as the confetti falls.

Regis: Join us next time to see if any of these other couples can win a million dollars.

I'm not sure if these questions would have been answered in an hour or what would have been edited to an hour. If it wasn't, I wasn't sure where to break it or if I could or would write about their evening in New York.