V is for Vent

By Movie Gal

It was bottom of the ninth, the score was Dodgers 18, Bombers 16.  There were two outs, a runner on second, and a runner on third, and it was Jamie's turn at bat.  The sun shone warmly down on the people playing on this beautiful June day in 1984.

Jamie's coach, and mother, Amanda King, came over to him and grabbed his shoulders from behind.  "You can do it, Jamie.  Just remember what we practiced.  Hit the ball straight down the middle between the shortstop and second baseman.  All you have to do is get on base."

"Yeah, yeah, I know mom.  I can do it."  Jamie walked away from his mom and grabbed the bat that was lying next to home base where Timmy had dropped it.  He gave a huge grin to his mom and the cheering crowd.  Even Phillip was clapping and didn't say anything rude.

"Go get `em, sport!  You can do it!"  Amanda yelled.

"Yeah!  You can do it, Bro!"  Phillip echoed.

`You can do this, Jamie.  You can do this.  Just keep your eye on the ball.'  He was nervous.  Phillip was the next batter.  If he messed this one up Phillip would never let him live it down.  He had to do this.  He could do this.  Adjusting his helmet, he gripped his bat and stood in the batters box, ready to hit.

As the pitch came, Jamie swung.  The resounding "CRACK!" was deafening.  His ball found it's way perfectly between the SS and Second Baseman.  He did it!  In his excitement he almost forgot to run.

"RUN! Jamie!  RUN!"  He didn't know who was yelling, probably everyone, but his little 9 year old legs were running as fast as they could.  Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the SS catch the ball thrown in from center field.  He watched in slow motion, as the SS checked the runner on third, and threw it to first base.  His foot hit the soft plastic of the base with a loud slap, just before the ball.  He kept running, unable to stop his momentum.  He turned towards the bleachers and made it back to the first base, showered in the yells, whistles and screams of all the Bomber moms and dads.  His mother's voice was the loudest of them all.  He had the coolest mom! Even his grandma was screaming.

"Way to go, Jamie!  I knew you could do it!"

Jamie grinned.  He had hit one runner in.  Now it was up to Phillip.

Lee pulled up to the curb, behind Amanda's car.  As he was next to the ball field, he watched and listened as dozens of people hooted and hollered when a little boy hit the ball.  `That looks like Jamie,' he thought.  He would just wait here until the game was over with.  He needed to talk to Amanda--well, ask her a favor, really.   He could wait.

He looked over the people all screaming and cheering until he saw a familiar body.  A grin erupted across his face as he watched the tiny wisp of a woman jump up and down, raising her hands and screaming at the top of her lungs.  He didn't think anyone could be that excited, heaven knows he hadn't, but somehow it didn't seem out of place with her.  `That's Amanda for you!' he thought.  He shook his head as he smiled.  She never ceased to amaze him.

`Hey, that's Phillip.'  He watched as Phillip came up with his bat and hit the ball.  Lee could hear the connection from here.  The ball soared over the left fielder's head.  He watched, as Amanda got even more excited, waving her arms for the runners to move faster.  The whole section of people on Amanda's side completely lost it.  Apparently, Phillips hit had achieved victory.  He watched as the entire team swarmed out of the dugout and crowded around Amanda, Phillip and Jamie.  Somehow, Lee couldn't help but feel proud for Amanda at the joy she felt over her son's game.

A twinge of regret hit him; he'd never had a mom at one of his football games.  Not even an Uncle, for that matter.  Barney had made it, though, to every one of them.  Well, he may not have had a mother, but he had a Barney.  What more could a kid ask for?

Lee suddenly became annoyed.  He didn't have time to reminisce about his past.  He had his future to consider.  Well, at least his next few weeks, while Charlotte was back in town.  He looked at his watch.  `Damn, how long do these things last?' he thought.  He'd made the reservations for 8, and he still needed to pick up his suit from the cleaners.  He sure hoped Amanda would agree to help him.  His whole evening depended on it.  If he ditched Charlotte this time she'd made it clear he would never see her again.  `I guess three times is just too much to ask a woman', he thought.  "Hurry up, will ya?"  Lee mumbled, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and waiting for the crowd to disperse, all the while keeping a close eye on one woman, not letting her leave without him noticing.  He'd try and catch her eye when there were less people.

Amanda took a deep breath.  She was so happy and excited for her sons.  This was a pivotal game in the series.  Victory seemed within their grasp.  This also meant that she'd have two very excited and hungry boys tonight.  The Dodgers were a big deal, and her team had done a great job.  She was so proud of all of them, but couldn't help the extra portion she felt for her two sons.  After all, it was Phillip and Jamie that were responsible for the last 4 points that'd won them the game.

"How does ice cream sound, team?" she yelled, knowing the response.

"Yeah!"  "You bet!"  "Oh, Boy!"  "Yippee!!!"  "Your mom is so cool!"  "Woo Hoo!"  The consensus seemed to be unanimous.

It was at that precise moment that she spotted the familiar silver car, parked against the curb on the North end of the field behind hers.  She smiled.  `What does he need now?' she thought.  The tugging of arms all around her brought her back to what was going on around her.

"Can I ride with you, Mrs. King?"

Amanda looked down into the face of little Bobby Drextler.  "Well, actually, hold on."  She looked up.  "Boys."  No one was listening to her.  They were all too excited about the game and the upcoming treat to pay any attention.  She brought her fingers to her mouth and let out a very loud, ear-piercing whistle.  Almost immediately she had every boys undivided attention.  "Boys, I need to stay behind for a few minutes and clean up, so I need you to go with your parents and meet us at Shelbie's Sherbet Shack.  I've already talked with your parents.  Now don't forget your mitts, oh, and Darryl, don't forget your bat.  You always do, and you've got to practice for our game next week."

"Yes, Mrs. King."

"Kay, great game, boys.  Remember, Bombers Rule!"  She was joined by 15 little boys' voices and about a dozen adult ones.  They cheered once more and quickly gathered their stuff.

She pulled Jay Richards aside.  "Could you take Phillip and Jamie with you.  I need to stay for a few minutes and make sure that everything is put away, then meet you at the Shack."

"Sure thing, Amanda.  Great job at coaching, today.  You sure do have a knack for bringing out the best in the boys."  He smiled at her.

"Thanks, I appreciate that."  She turned to her sons.  "Phillip and Jamie, come here."  They bounded over.

"Yeah, mom?"


"I need you guys to go with Mr. Richards to the ice cream shop.  I'll meet you as soon as I can."

"Sure, mom."

"No problem."

She scanned the crowd for her mother.  Dotty was speaking to Mrs. Evans, no doubt bragging about how great her grandsons had done.  Amanda smiled.  Could she blame her?  She walked up behind her mother and lightly tapped her on the shoulder.  "Mother?"

"Oh, Amanda, can you believe the boys?  I was just telling Mabel, here, about the time Phillip hit that other homerun last year, you know the one where he hit the foul ball first and knocked out Mr. Billings car window, but then he came back and hit a homer over the left fielders head, just like today…"

"Mother," Amanda laughed.  Her mother sure did know how to ramble on and on.  The look on Mrs. Evans face was one of gratitude for her timely interruption.  She tried not to laugh even harder.  "Mother, I need you to get a ride with someone else to the ice cream shop.  I need to stay behind and clean up for a bit."

"Oh, I can stay and help you dear.  It's no trouble."

"No, thank you, Mother.  I can do it."  What could she say that would make her mother go?  She needed to speak to Lee alone.

"Really, Amanda, I don't mind staying.  I'm not in my best clothes and with my help it'll be done in no time flat."

"No, Mother, you need to be there to supervise till I get there."  At the look of determination on her mothers face, Amanda thought quickly.  She took off her Coach Cap and placed it on her mother's head.  "Besides, the boys need a leader.  I'm making you the Honorary Coach for this evening."  The hat was the only thing that identified the coach.  Next year she hoped to be able to get herself another uniform after the dryer melted her last one.

Dotty touched the cap on her head and smiled.  "Well, when you put it that way, how can I refuse?"  She turned to Mabel.  "Would you mind if I came along with you?"

"Not at all," Mabel said.

Dotty turned back to Amanda.  "What about the boys?"

"Mr. Richards is taking them."

"Okay, see you soon, dear."

"Good-bye mother."

Amanda smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.  Sometimes it was so hard to get rid of her mother when she was doing Agency business.  She hated to deceive her, even if it was just a little, and she hated sneaking around.  She hoped it got better.  But that was a thought for another day.  For now she had to concentrate on the man in the Porsche.  "Thank you, Mrs. Evans.  Mother, I'll see you guys later."

They both grabbed their stuff, and Mrs. Evans son, Mitchell, and were soon gone from the field, heading to the parking lot with the rest of the crowd.

Amanda had noticed Lee getting out of his car and moving to a nearby tree when the crowd had started to disperse.  He was leaning against it right now.  She let out a deep sigh, as her thoughts began to vent.  Couldn't she just have one day off that was specifically asked for?  Was that too much to ask?  She was a little irritated right now.  She'd specifically told Mr. Melrose that she would not be able to come in today because of the game.  Win or lose, she had big plans to celebrate with the boys and her mother tonight.  Getting her resolve firmly under control, she set to picking up all the equipment and putting it in the bag.

Lee leaned against the tree, trying to act casual.  He knew Amanda had seen him and would get rid of everyone so he could talk to her.  He watched as the last of the crowd all got into their cars and drove off, leaving Amanda, who was busy putting bats and balls and bases into a bag.

He couldn't help but smile.  She was just so darn cute.  She was wearing the pair of blue jeans that fit her so nicely, and that pink sweatshirt she'd worn when they were tied up in the mall, trying to save Alexi and his parents.  He liked the way it just draped over her slim frame, the wide scooped neck giving the observer a peek at her slim shoulders when she moved a certain way.  `Whoa there, Stetson.  Where do you think you're going with that train of thought?'  Hah, it didn't matter.  He was just admiring her cute figure.  No harm there.  It wasn't as if he wanted her or anything.  Besides, he was hopefully going to have his hands full tonight with Charlotte.  He had to convince Amanda to help him.  He hadn't had a date in weeks, and this was his last chance with Charlotte. Clearing his throat, he made his way over to Amanda.

"Hey, Amanda, I saw part of the game.  Your boys did a great job.  Did you teach them how to hit like that?  I bet you did."  Lee laughed, hoping his desperateness didn't come through.

Amanda rolled her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief.  If Lee was coming over here with that fake nice tone then that could mean only one thing.  The Agency didn't need her, Lee did.  `He thinks "Good `ole Amanda" is going to come to the rescue again.  Well, he has another thing coming,' she thought, as she placed the last remaining bat in the bag and zipped it up.  She picked up the bag and placed it on the bleachers in front of her, and turned to face Lee.  "Okay, Lee, what do you need?"

"What?  I was just commenting on the game, and your sons' great jobs…"

"Look, Lee, you didn't come to comment on the game, and since you're dripping with nice, which is extremely out of character for you, I might add, and I asked specifically for today off, I can only guess that you need me for some last minute thing to get you out of a tight spot."  She didn't mean to vent, but she was in a hurry and wanted to get to the bottom of this quick.

"I'm not trying to…"

"Please, Lee, I wasn't born yesterday.  What is it you need `Good `ole Amanda' to do for you this time?  Cause I can't
guarantee that I can.  Unless it's a matter of National Security, I am afraid you're out of luck, mister."

`Shit, I knew I was coming on too strong.  How does she do that?  She seems to be able to read my mind.'  He could feel Charlotte slipping though his fingers.  "Look, Amanda.  I need some help with a couple of files.  Billy needs them first thing tomorrow morning and I have a pressing engagement I can't get out of.  I just need you to type them up for me.  After all, you do type 90 words a minute, and compared to my 10 WPM you'd have it done faster than I can."

Amanda folded her arms.  "A `pressing engagement' huh?  No doubt a date with one of your flavors of the week.  Who is she this time?  Cindy, Melinda, Betty Jo?"  At the look on Lee's face, she knew she'd hit the nail on the head.

Lee felt his face turn red.  `Damn, she did it again.  She isn't going to buy a Senate Reception now.'  Why didn't he prepare for
this?  Her ability to read him like a book had unsettled him a number of times.  He could hide things from anyone else, just not her.  When would he learn?  "Please, Amanda.  This is my last chance with Charlotte."

"Oh, it's Charlotte, is it?"

"Yes, and she's only in town for a few weeks.  If I don't go out with her tonight, then I won't be able to again.  Please, I need a break."

She could hear the panic and plea in his voice.  She felt the tiniest twinge of guilt and for a split second entertained the idea of
actually helping him, but it was only the tiniest split second.  She knew where her priorities lay and it wasn't with some woman who would eventually lie in Lee's bed.  Why that thought irked her, she didn't know.  Irritation quickly took over.  The man was insufferable.  What did he think she was, his personal gofer?  With her backbone firmly in place, she looked Lee straight in those incredible hazel eyes.  "Not a chance, Stetson.  I promised my boys we would go out tonight and nothing is going to stop me.  We have some REAL celebrating to do."

Lee looked at her with those sad puppy dog eyes, trying to manipulate her, but she didn't let it get to her.  She was not going to cave this time.  He'd railroaded her too many times and she was not going to put her boys off one more time.  And for a woman, even.  Ohhhh, she was mad.  His face, body, car and macho attitude may get him what he wanted with other women, but it wasn't going to work on her.  No, she was connected on a deeper level with him, one he wasn't even aware existed, so his charms didn't have the same effect on her.  But she was still mad that he thought she was just there at his beck and call.  Ohhhhh!!!

Cue music for "That Don't Impress Me Much" by Shanaia Twain

Sung by Amanda

That Don't Impress Me Much
By Shanaia Twain

[Okay, this is one of my favorites, so pay attention.  This takes place before the second season so this will be the last we see of the spunky Amanda.  Season two Amanda lacked a lot of the first season spunk.  You really need to listen to this song for this part.  Lee and Amanda are in front of a stand of bleachers.  Three women, who were jogging by, stop and stand near the bleachers.  They will be the backup singers for this one.  All three are in sweats, ranging in age from 40 to55, all married.]


[To start the song, Amanda, who is about 5 feet from Lee, looks at him, says `OW!' and walks towards him, her arm help out in front.  The backup girls sing the `Oh, oh, oh, oh' part.]

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Aha yeah, yeah
Oh. oh, oh, oh

[Amanda's hand comes up against Lee, palm to his chest, as she pushes him back to sit on the bleachers, with a very stunned look on his face.]

I've known a few guys who thought
They were pretty smart

[Amanda looks right at his eyes, pulls back a bit, and puts her right index finger to her temple when she says, `pretty smart'.]

But you've got being right down to an art

[Her finger points at his chest at `down to an art'.  He can't take his astonished eyes away from her.  He is completely speechless.]

You think you're a genius
You drive me up the wall
You're a regular original know-it-all

[Here she throws up her hands at `up the wall'.  And both index fingers make their way to her temples at `original know-it-all'.]

Oh, oh you think you're special
Oh, oh you think you're something else
OK, so you're a Secret Agent

[She turns around here, walks a bit off and turns to look over her shoulder at `Secret Agent'.]

That don't impress me much
Oh, oh, oh, oh
So ya got the brains
But have ya got the touch

[Still looking over her shoulder for `don't impress' then finger goes to head when she sings `brains'.  Still looking over her shoulder, takes her right hand and runs it down the side of her arm at `got the touch' causing an obvious chill to run down Lee's back.  Her sweatshirt is hanging off her left shoulder, exposing a soft and tan shoulder.  She is unaware of the fact that it is off her shoulder.  This is just normal for her.   Lee can't take his eyes off of it.]

Now don't get me wrong, yeah
I think you're all right

[She turns here and walks over to him during `get me wrong' and places her right index finger under his chin, tilting his head to
hers on `think you're all right'.  Lee is having a hard time trying to swallow.]

But that won't keep me warm
In the middle of the night

[Here, she turns and places her back to him, and hugs herself, so it looks like someone is running their hands up and down her arms.  You know, you did it in grade school.  Anyway, Lee puts his finger to his collar and tries to loosen his tie.  This side of Amanda is definitely getting to him.  Amanda is smiling and looking seductive, clearly enjoying this.]

That don't impress me much
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Aha yeah, yeah
Oh, oh, oh, oh

[She looks at him over her shoulder and fixes his gaze for the `impress me much' and `aha, yeah, yeah' and the background girls swing their arms in time to `oh, oh, oh, oh'.]

I never knew a guy who'd carry
A mirror in his pocket
And a comb up his sleeve just in case
And all that extra hold gel
In your hair aught to lock it
Cause heaven forbid, it should fall
Out of place

[Here Amanda turns and pretends to pull a mirror out of her pocket for the `pocket' part, and walks up to Lee and pulls his comb out of his sleeve, the one with two missing teeth and Ace comb stamped on the side, then puts it back.  She runs her fingers through his hair on the `gel' part and pulls back with a laugh in her voice and her head thrown back for the `fall out of place' part.  Lee is just about jumping out of his skin when she touches him, as if her touch were fire.]

Oh, oh, you think you're special
Oh, oh you think you're something else
OK so you're Lee Stetson
That don't impress me much
Oh, oh, oh, oh

[Again Amanda walks off but stops, and looks over her shoulder at `special' till `impress me much'.]

So ya got the looks

[Here she moves her hand over her face.]

But have ya got the touch

[Again she runs her hand up the side of her arm.  Lee is clearly squirming.]

Now don't get me wrong yeah
I think you're all right

[Amanda turns and moves to his side again, puts her finger under his chin for `all right'.  He tries to swallow but can't move.]

But that won't keep me warm
In the middle of the night
That don't impress me much

[Amanda turns away from Lee and hugs herself again and looks back at him for `impress me much'.]

Wow! Whew!

[Now Amanda grabs the bag and heads towards Lee's car, which is right behind hers.  Background girls follow at a distance.  She walks very seductively, moving her hips with exaggeration, even more so at each `Aw, yeah, wow, and whew'.  Lee follows, still clearly speechless and unable to take his eyes off of Amanda's backside.]

You're one of those guys
Who likes to shine his machine

[Amanda drops the bag on the ground near her car, and makes her way to Lee's Porsche.  She seductively runs her hand over the hood, as she moves to the other side of the car at `shine his machine'.  The car is between she and Lee.  Lee is clearly nervous about anyone touching his `Baby' and looks ready to move, should she do anything to his precious car.]

You made me take off my shoes
Before you'd let me get in

[Here she imitates taking off one of her shoes and throwing it over her shoulder.]

I can't believe you'd kiss
Your car good-night
Now come on, baby tell me
You must be joking right

[She is positioned right near the front windshield; her arms are stretched out, one hand on the hood, the other on the roof.  She is bent over, shoulder peeking out still, and places a gentle `kiss' on the car after `kiss your car goodnight' then looks incredulously at him, with the exposed shoulder sticking out to him, at `must be joking, right' part.  Lee's face is flushed from the emotions coursing through him.  He is clearly flustered.  Amanda has a crooked smile on, still clearly enjoying his reaction.]

Oh, oh you think you're special
Oh, oh you think you're something else
OK so you've got a car
That don't impress me much
Oh, oh, oh, oh

[Here, she walks back around the car's front, caressing the hood again, much to the distress of Scarecrow, at `you've got a car'.  She stands with her back to him, and looks over her exposed shoulder at `impress me much'.  Background girls sing `oh, oh, oh, oh,'.]

So ya got the moves
But have ya got the touch
Now don't get me wrong yeah
I think you're all right
But that won't keep me warm
In the middle of the night
That don't impress me much
That don't impress me
Ah ha now

[Amanda moves her body in an adulating wave that starts from her head and ends at her knees, with a healthy hip sway in there, during `moves'.  She again runs her hand up her other arm for `got the touch', walks over to him on `get me wrong' and finger under his chin on `all right', turns and hugs herself, rubbing hands up and down for `warm… middle of night'.  Lee tries miserably to swallow and is unable.  His hands are clenching and unclenching.]

So ya think you're cool
But have ya got the touch
Now, now, now don't get me wrong
Yeah I think you're all right
But that won't keep me warm
On the long cold lonely night

[With her back to him, she looks back at him over her exposed shoulder, still not paying any attention to the fact that it is
showing, looks at him for `cool', runs her finger up her arm for `touch', then turns and moves to his side and touches his arm
for `all right', turns again to hug herself and this time with a slow body movement during `long cold, lonely night' which literally makes Lee burn.  Amanda smiles.]

That don't impress me much
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Uh huh yeah, yeah
Oh, oh, oh, oh
OK so what do you think
You're James Bond or something?

[Here, Amanda walks to her bag, picks it up and heads to her car.  She looks over her shoulder and grins when she says `James Bond'.  Don't forget the background girls during `oh, oh, oh, oh', swinging back and forth.]

Oh, oh, oh, oh
That don't impress me much
Oh, oh, oh, oh
OH, no!
Oh, oh, oh, oh
That don't impress me much
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Ow, no
That don't impress me much
Oh, oh, oh, oh

[She gets her keys out of her pocket, and unlocks the back to put the bag in the back of her station wagon.  Lee is just standing there, unable to move.]

Oh, aw, aw, aw, aw, aw oh no
Oh, oh, oh, oh

[She moves around to the drivers side of her car and unlocks the door.  Lee is finally able to move and goes around to the drivers side of his car.  He just stands there looking at Amanda.  The Background girls sing `oh, aw, aw, aw…' too.]

All right, all right
Oh, oh, oh, oh
You're Tarzan
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Captain Kirk maybe
Oh, oh, oh, oh
John Wayne
Oh, oh, oh, oh
What ever
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Uh Uh
That don't impress me

[Amanda is now in her car, she starts it and looks out at Lee for `Tarzan… Cpt'n Kirk…, and John Wayne'.  She puts the car into drive and as she drives off Lee hears `What ever' and `that don't impress me… much' distantly.  The chorus girls resume their jog and Lee shakes himself and gets in his car.]

Lee sat in his car for several minutes, trying to cool down.  How does she do it?  How does this simple housewife have that kind of control over his emotions?  He laughed at the thought.  Amanda wasn't a `simple' anything.  He knew she hadn't been deliberately playing with his emotions, that just wasn't Amanda, but his body was burning so badly, he was afraid he'd need a cold shower before going back to the office to finish those reports.  He suddenly remembered Charlotte.

"Oh, well.  There are plenty of fish in the sea," he mumbled.  Suddenly fish just didn't sound appetizing.  He shook as a chill ran
through him at the thought of Amanda.  `Get a grip, Stetson.'  Maybe he would call Mindy, after he finished his reports.  He could see her tomorrow.

Thinking of the emotions the little housewife produced in his body, he cursed himself for letting himself get so affected.  "Women," he said with a touch of irritation as he brought his car to life and sped off back to the Agency.  "Amanda," he smiled.