R is for Reflecting

Author: Brenda

Rating: G to PG

Timeline: 1989

Feedback: Please here or email

Disclaimer: Lee and Amanda belong to Warner Brothers and Shoot The Moon. I wish I could claim them, but I can't. The story however is mine.

Synopsis: The letter R can be used a lot in Lee and Amanda's life, right now Lee is reflecting on his life, after having Amanda in his life for 6 years.

Author's Notes: I am glad this challenge was made, this has been fun. Also, thanks to my friend Katie Morris for beta reading this for me.

As Lee Stetson sat at his desk in the Q Bureau looking over a file from a past case. He was deep in thought as to how one moment things can be wonderful, and the next, filled with terror.

Ever since the announced their marriage to everyone, Dr Smyth had not been impressed. They were soon separated and Lee and Amanda adjusted. But a few months afterward, Smyth realized that things were accomplished while they were together, and reinstated their partnership. That's when everything went back to wonderful. Until a week ago, The Mongoose had been back to haunt Lee and Amanda.

As he gazed to his left, looking at his wife's desk, Lee came to the same conclusion as before: Life is to precious. He leaned back in his chair and drifted off to sleep.


(Flecks of Lee's dream)

While he dreamed, he had seen himself in Billy's office ranting and raving over the fact of Amanda helping him again. 'I can't believe I was like that to her, I don't deserve her love. She was so patient, loving and sharing. I was a fool back then, I really *regret* treating her like that. I know I can't change the past, but she will never, ever be treated like that again,' he mused.

Lee stirred in his chair and heard the file in his hand drop to the floor, but decided not to pick it up yet. He drifted back to sleep, this time to find himself in Amanda's backyard spying on her through the kitchen window. They had just finished up the Delano case and he had checked on her to see how she was feeling. He couldn't tear himself away. He watched her doing things for the boys, while still doing dishes. She was just amazing. Her ability. Her spunk. Her determination.

'Yes she could be frustrating at times, but I do have to admit I was right. There is more to this woman than meets the eye.' Lee thought to himself. 'She had so much talent that most people would *recognize*.'

As he saw her walk out of the room, for some reason or another he blinked his eyes and found himself somewhere else.

Both him and Amanda were standing in the middle of the bull pen. She was holding her pink sweater, her finger sticking through the little hole.

'Oh that day,' he thought. 'She had so much faith in me then, not leaving me alone. Still now, I can't believe I hit her. Her eyes were filled with shock and confusion, even though she forgave me, I couldn't forgive myself. I had to make it up to her, even if it took me the rest of my life.'

Even standing in front of her, with the case done and over with, I still believe that I hurt her. This sweet, wonderful woman standing next to me never left my side after everything that happened.  *Realization* hit Lee hard. 'I care so much for this woman, so much it's scaring me.'

A flash of light in Lee's face made him blink often to regain his vision. Now he saw Leslie walking around his apartment.  "Why is this something I have to be shown again?!" he gritted through his teeth. Yes, Leslie was a part of his past, but a part he would love to forget. He knew *relationships* with females were never consistent. That was something Amanda taught him.

Since the day Leslie walked out on him, all other women were gone from his life except Amanda. She was the teacher and he was the student.  This was something that he would enjoy forever, being with her.

As Lee fidgeted in his chair again, he woke up uncomfortably. Deciding to rest his arms and head on the top of his desk, while
looking where Amanda sat, sleep overcame him again.

They were both in this very office, Amanda looking at a file on her desk and Lee just staring at her. It was late at night and majority of the people were already gone. A smile spread across his face when he caught a spark of Amanda's necklace. Lee remembered Birol having a hold of that and Lee refrained from clenching his fists. Instead he continued to smile, *relief* written all over his face. He unsuccessfully tried to *rescue* Amanda, but Billy and Francine had came through for him. Lee thought to himself, 'I am very lucky to have friends like I do. They have done so much for me, they gave me the most important person in my life back to me.'

With that he walked out the door, but he had a strange feeling that this dream wasn't over. Instead of walking into the hallway of the IFF building, Lee found himself in Marion County, watching himself and Amanda walking out of the building. Lee knew what this was about. The look on the couples faces gave it away too, they were so much in love. *Rejoicing* in the fact that they are together, forever as man and wife. 'That was the best day in my life! Second, was the day I found this woman walking on the platform of the train station.'

Lee watched the couple drive off, a pain in his stomach reminded him of the honeymoon. The anticipation.The maid. California. The hospital. He sighed and walked away. 'I know how that trip turned out, but I just keep reminding myself, she is with me and we are okay.'

As he walked down the road, he took a right and saw the beach. "Where did this come from?" he said aloud. Then it came to him as he watched people in love walking, holding hands and enjoying the comfort in each other. 'That is where we will be tomorrow.' Even in his sleep Lee couldn't wipe the grin on his face as he pictured himself and Amanda on the beach, *rekindling* their love on a mini-vacation to the coast.  In three days it will be 6 years ago that they met. That day both of their lives changed. Though they didn't know it at the time. Fate did.

He was awoke from his dream as Amanda walked in the door. Seeing the smile on his face she questioned him. "What is that smile for?"

The only thing he could respond with is, "just reflecting on my life, just reflecting..."

(Regret lead to recognition, realization lead to relationship, rescue lead to relief, rejoice and rekindle is a joyous time)