Changes


By: Brenda
Summary:Amanda is trying to arrange some family time but encounters problems from Lee. Will there love still be strong enough?
Rating:PG
Time Frame: 10 years after SMK ended- 1997
Disclaimer:Scarecrow & Mrs. King and all related characters are the property of WB and Shoot the Moon Productions. This story belongs to me and is for entertainment purposes only.
Author's Notes:This story is just something I came up with while I was on a airplane heading to Las Vegas. June 2000. My beta readers Michelle and Sherry thank you so much for your help, without you two I wouldn't have finished my first story.



 

Setting 1997........

It was one summer afternoon in early August and Lee, Amanda and Jenny were sitting at the dinning room table trying to decide on what to do for the weekend.....

The first two years of their marriage were rocky, with Amanda's family not knowing about the agency or her marriage to Lee. The marriage was strained more at work, since they weren't able to tell anyone there and everyday got harder for them to not show their feelings for each other in front of people. It started to get better when people were told, around the time Amanda got pregnant. The last seven years had been wonderful; Phillip had graduated college and Jamie would be graduating next year. They enjoyed watching their 7 year old daughter grow up.

The last year had been the worst with Dotty passing away, Billy moving to New York and Lee having been captured for two months. No one knew if he was alive or dead. During the time he was captured in South America he had changed some. His love for his family never went away, but there was something missing in his life. After he returned he never told his family what happened and still, one year later, not a word had been said.

Amanda got a hold of the case file about his capture one day at work and started reading some of Lee's report. She was shocked to find out how badly they had tortured him, telling him no one loved him, that his family was dead. They didn't just torture him mentally. but physically as well. Amanda still did not know how he escaped. She didn't get to read the whole report because she heard someone coming up to the Q Bureau so she dropped the file back on Lee's desk and returned to her filing in the vault. Amanda wished he would open up to her but this time he just kept it bottled up inside. She knew he had a hard time and had all these new responsibilities at work. But still, she had this gut feeling there was more. He never paid attention to her like he had in the past.

A few weeks had gone by since he returned and Lee and Amanda had been fighting very much during that time. It was also starting to affect their daughter, even though they didn't fight in front of her she could sense something was wrong. A few times Jenny had made plans to go for a picnic or riding with Lee but he forgot, and that made Jenny very sad. He never tried to make it up to her. They hardly ever spent time together. That was hard on Jenny, they used to spend a lot of father/daughter time. Lee loved his daughter so much and he thought she could never do anything wrong.

....Back to summer, 1997.

Different suggestions were made by Amanda and Jenny, but Lee was silent the whole time. Only one thing sounded good to Jenny, the Zoo.

"Sweetie we went to the Zoo last week," Amanda said.

"But mommy, I love seeing the animals."

"Doesn't taking off for a few days and enjoying the ocean sound better? We can go to Virginia Beach, maybe go one day to the Norfolk Zoo," said Amanda, trying to convince her family.

"I don't know mom," sighed Jenny, "I guess it would be fun."

After that Jenny went outside to play with their 2 dogs. She loved living in Rockville, she especially loved the horses. On her third birthday she started taking riding lessons. She got her love for horses from her father.

After Jenny walked outside is when the fighting started up.

"Why did you say something about going for a few days? Work has been very busy for me, I am still trying to get used to the new job. I can't believe all the things Billy put up with," Lee said, his voice slightly raised.

"Well, I am sorry I thought maybe we should spend some time as a family." Amanda was getting really irritated with Lee at this point. He was neglecting them so much lately. "You need to remember Jenny goes back to school in a month and after this weekend we will be too busy to spend time together as a family."

During the whole time Amanda was talking, Lee was pacing around the livingroom.

Amanda finally got sick of the situation and said, "You know what Lee, if you don't want to come with us, THEN DON'T!" And with that Amanda stormed upstairs to start packing Jenny's clothes.

Lee sat down on the couch, after she left the room, and let out a big sigh, running his hands through his hair in frustration. 'What is wrong with me? What am I doing? I have a wonderful, loving, caring wife. Two step-sons that have grown up to be fine young men and a wonderful 7 year old daughter who has taught me so much. If I was asked by anyone 12 years ago what I would be doing with my life, this would not be my answer.' Again, the question came into Lee's mind, 'What is wrong with me?'

Amanda walked back down with Jenny's bag of clothes and put it by the front door. Amanda thought it was a good idea to get an early start in the morning. She then went into the kitchen to pack some food and call about a hotel room. While she was doing all this Lee would not look at her. He finally got up from the couch and walked out the door without saying a word, smiled at his daughter and then climbed into his car thinking, 'Maybe a drive will do me some good.'

Amanda was standing in the kitchen packing food to take on the trip when she heard the corvette take off. Jenny came running into the kitchen saying, "Mommy, Mommy, where did daddy go? I was going to ask him to go riding with me."

"I'm sorry sweetie, I don't know where he went. Maybe when he gets back you can ask him."

"Mommy" Jenny said quietly, "What's wrong with daddy? Doesn't he love us anymore?"

That comment broke Amanda's heart. She knew Jenny could tell something was going on, but what she said surprised her mother. All Amanda could do was look at her daughter and give her a big hug.

During the time Lee was driving around he decided to stop off at Rock Creek Park to sit and think. About 15 minutes later he heard a voice from behind him, "Lee, is that you? Oh my, it is you, its been ages." Lee was startled and turn around to find Leslie standing in front of him. "Leslie, I am surprised to see you. It has been a long time."

"Mind if I sit down with you? How are you doing," Leslie asked, still in shock.

"I am doing fine, just sitting here enjoying a nice Friday afternoon. How about you? What have you been doing since I saw you last?"

"Oh, still working with the same company, divorced, no kids. How about you Lee?"

"Well I um.... I am the same ole person, nothing really going on." Lee decided he didn't want to say what was really going on. "Hey Leslie, do you want to go and have a couple of drinks with me?"

"Sure, I would love to Lee." So they both got up, Leslie grabbed his arm, and they walked to their cars.

Later at home Amanda was pacing around the kitchen, "Lee left here 4 hours ago, where could he be," she said to herself. She looked around the room and noticed Jenny standing there with a tear running down her cheek.

"Mommy, daddy's still not home."

"I know he isn't. Why don't you go upstairs and get whatever toys you want to take. Then after that it is time for a bath and bed."

"Okay mom, I hope daddy will go with us tomorrow," Jenny said while walking towards the stairs.

"So do I, so do I," Amanda said quietly.

It was midnight and Lee was still not home. Amanda had been sitting on the couch, exhaustion over-taking her as she drifted off to sleep. Lee came walking in the door about 30 minutes later. He noticed her sleeping on the couch, so he decided not to disturb her and went to bed.

Amanda woke up a few hours later, stretching her arms and legs. She saw Lee's coat hanging on the rocking chair. She thought, 'Well, I wonder what time he came walking in.' She got up and went to Jenny's room to check on her before going to her own bed, but when she checked on her she wasn't there. Amanda found Jenny in their bed curled up next to Lee. She stood in the doorway for a few minutes watching them, still trying to understand what was wrong with her husband. Sighing and walking over to the bed, she helped her daughter back to her own room then Amanda went to bed herself crying softly while drifting off to sleep. Lee was aware she climbed into bed and knew she was crying but did nothing. He knew she was hurting and didn't know how to make things right. He was just glad he ran into Leslie that night, it felt nice to just go out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning Amanda woke up early to get everything packed into the car to leave. When she opened her eyes she noticed Lee was gone. She got up, put on her robe and went downstairs to see if he was home. He wasn't there, the car was gone too, but there was a note in the kitchen:

Amanda,
I am sorry about yesterday and last night. I needed to go into work today. I will call you later.
Lee

Amanda definitely knew something was wrong after reading that message. Every letter he ever wrote started with 'sweetheart' and ended with 'Love Lee', until now.

Jenny came down the stairs all dressed, excited and ready to leave. She asked her mother with a big smile on her face, "Is daddy going with us?"

"Not right now he isn't. He needed to work and hopefully he can finish up and join us. He will call and let us know." Amanda hated the fact that she just lied to her daughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that Saturday afternoon, Amanda and Jenny arrived at the hotel in Virginia Beach. They were both quiet on the drive there, but Jenny saw the ocean and her eyes lit up. She grabbed her mom's hand and started to drag her to the water, but Amanda reminded her, "Jenny, dear, you can't go in yet, you need your swimsuit on first. Plus we should also check in."

"Okay mommy, but promise me I can go in soon."

"Yes you can, I promise."

A couple hours later, after they got all situated at the hotel and changed, they headed to the beach. Amanda sat on the beach towel in the sand and watched Jenny play in the water. Then Jenny decided to make a sandcastle. "Mommy, can you help me make a sandcastle?"

"I will be there in a minute, Jenny." Amanda had been sitting there thinking about Lee, wishing he were there to enjoy this. When she got up to help Jenny, she said to herself, 'Why is he being so insensitive?'

Back in DC, Lee had been working, if that's what you call it. His mind was drifting all day. He would be brought back to the present by either the phone ringing or someone entering his office. About 3:00pm he was ready to give up on doing work and go home, until the phone rang.

"Oh hi Leslie.......Yeah I was surprised to see you too.......tonight?...no nothing........ok, sure........yes I know where that is I will pick you up at 7:00 bye." Right after that he left work and headed home.

That night, after Jenny went to sleep, Amanda tried to call home but there was no answer. When they had arrived at the hotel earlier she debated about calling Lee, but changed her mind, She was not ready to talk to him then. She tried for Amanda sat on her bed and watched TV, often and on for 3 hours she tried to call Lee at home. He never answered. Finally, Amanda gave up and went to bed.

Lee picked Leslie up promptly at 7:00. They went out to dinner first, then Leslie suggested a night club for drinks. The whole time they were out she had her arm linked with his. Lee didn't even pay attention to her arm, his mind was somewhere else.

It was about 11:00 and Lee had had enough of being out, so he dropped Leslie off at her apartment. He went to leave, but she grabbed him and kissed him. His emotions had been running everywhere lately and he didn't know what to do. All of a sudden he pulled back and said, "No, Leslie, I can't do this."

"Lee, why not? I have never stopped caring about you."

"No! This is not right" Lee walked away and took off for home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day had come and gone with Lee hanging around home. Amanda and Jenny spent time in town shopping, looking at sites and swimming in the hotel pool.

They got back to the hotel at about the time for Jenny to get into bed. Amanda was very sad after finding out she still had no call from Lee, but she never said anything to Jenny. She didn't want to spoil her fun.

After Jenny fell asleep, Amanda tried to call home again. There was still no answer. This is getting ridiculous. 'Where could he be,' she thought. Amanda gave up again and went to bed.

Lee sat around home most of Sunday. He knew the phone was ringing in the evening, but ignored it. He just had the feeling it was Amanda and he wasn't ready to talk to her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Early Monday morning Amanda called work. She knew Lee too well. She knew he would probably be at work already. He answered the phone, "Hello." She could tell just from the tone of his voice that he was not in a good mood, but neither was she.

"Hi, are you busy," was all Amanda said back.

"Oh, hi Amanda, yes I am busy. What's up?" Lee was trying to act like nothing was going on.

"I am surprised you haven't called us by now. Your daughter has asked if you are coming here."

"Well, I am sorry, I um.....I've been really busy."

"I can tell. I have been trying to call you at home for the past 2 nights," Amanda said in anger. She knew Lee was not out in the field anymore so he would normally be home.

"Well I decided to go out for dinner Saturday night and yesterday I was in and out of the house."

"Oh, you did?"

"Yeah, I did." Lee was starting to get a little mad at her. "I ran into an old friend of mine so we went out to catch up on old times."

"Oh, a friend," she said sarcastically.

Lee was getting irritated at these 20 questions coming from Amanda, without realizing it, he said, "We went out. I wasn't going to until she called me......."

"SHE!" Amanda interrupted him.

Jenny started stirring so Amanda opened the sliding door and walked out onto the small deck of the hotel room. She didn't want to wake her up.

"Well, I suppose that you and her will go out again tonight, maybe I should just stay here all week since you are just too busy for us.... Or maybe Jenny and I should just move here.... I think you need to decide if you want us in your life or not!" Amanda was yelling at this point.

"Oh, come on A....."

"Lee," Amanda cut him off again, "you need to make a decision. You know where you can reach us."

The next thing Lee heard was a click. He was surprised, not only at her hanging up on him, but at the ultimatum. He sat back in his chair running his hand through his hair and sighed, 'This is going to be a long day.'

Amanda, on the other hand, climbed back into bed and cried. She knew she jumped to conclusions, assuming Lee was wanting this 'other woman'. She didn't even know who he ran into. All she knew was that her heart was breaking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

During that whole week Lee and Amanda did not talk to each other. Amanda tried to make the rest of the week fun. Playing on the beach and going to the Norfolk Zoo were Jenny's two favorite things. Amanda was glad that she didn't bring up the subject again about her daddy joining them.

Lee, on the other hand, worked so much trying to ignore his life, something he hadn't done since he met Amanda. A few times he even did some field work. He wanted to keep busy. He ignored the phone calls from Leslie. So many things were racing through his mind. He thought about the kiss between him and Leslie often. It was great but he loved his wife, his daughter..........his family. They had given him so much love and fulfillment in his life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amanda and Jenny came home the following Sunday morning. The whole drive was quiet. Amanda was wondering what was going to happen when they got home. When they pulled up the drive she noticed Lee's car was gone. Jenny said, "I wonder where daddy is? I miss him."

"I dunno, sweetie. Why don't you take some of your things up to your room. We need to unpack the car."

When they walked into the front door she saw a note taped to the phone.

Amanda,
I had some work to do in New York. I will be home Monday morning. Can you please pick me up from the airport at 9:00? The car is in the shop. The itinerary is on the refrigerator. Also, can you get someone to watch Jenny? That way we can go out to dinner and talk.
Lee

Amanda walked up to Jenny's room and told her that her daddy would be home tomorrow morning and they will get him from the airport. Jenny was so excited about seeing the airplanes. Amanda was a little nervous, Lee wanted to have dinner and talk. She walked into her room and called Phillip. "Hi Phillip.....I need a favor from you, I would ask Jamie but he is in California with his girlfriend.....Can you come over tomorrow and watch Jenny so Lee and I can go out?.....how about 4:00?.....yes 4:30 should be fine....thanks a lot Phillip, I will see you tomorrow. I love you, bye."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning Amanda and Jenny arrived at Dulles 20 minutes before Lee's flight was due. Jenny was having so much fun watching the planes and asking her mom, "Is this one daddy's..... is this one daddy's?"

"Jenny, dear, calm down. Daddy's plane will be here any minute."

Jenny sat down and watched all the people walking around and was quiet until Amanda said, "Look, Jenny, there is daddy's plane coming in." She hurried up and ran over to the gate and Amanda went running after her.

When Lee emerged from the door, Jenny came running up to hug him, almost knocking him over, "DADDY!! I am so happy to see you."

"Jenny, oh how I have missed you," Lee says as he scoops his daughter up into his arms and gives her a big hug.

Lee walks up to Amanda, smiles and puts Jenny down. He looks into her eyes and embraces her tightly. When they finally break apart he gives her a kiss on the cheek. "I have missed you so much, Amanda," he said softly and with so much emotion.

Amanda was caught off guard by his affection. It had been quite sometime since she had seen any emotion from him. While she was standing there thinking about what's going on, she hadn't noticed he intertwined their fingers and was ready to go home.

Jenny talked about the trip her and her mother had taken. She told Lee all about the beach, a friend that she made and played with for a few days, and the wonderful time she had at the zoo.

That night Lee and Amanda went out to dinner. The conversation was light, neither one of them knowing how to broach the topic foremost in their minds. After they finished dinner, Lee suggested they go for a walk around the Lincoln Memorial.

While they were walking around, he put his hand on the small of her back a couple of times, but the rest of the time he was very nervous to make contact with her. Finally stopping in front of the memorial, Lee turned to face Amanda but couldn't look her in the eyes. He wasn't too sure what to say to her. Amanda noticed his quietness so she decided she needed to know what is going on. "Lee, we need to talk. I want to know what's going on."

"Ummmm.......yes we do need to talk.....Amanda I know I should say that I'm sorry for the way I have been acting, but you shouldn't forgive me. I was such a jerk." Lee hesitated for a moment to look into her eyes and see her reaction. He noticed a sincere but confused look on her face.

So he continued, " I know that you were mad at me with going out to dinner with Leslie, but I realized something that night. I love my wife very much. She means the world to me and I can't imagine her out of my life."

"Oh Lee, I can't ......"

"Amanda please let me finish," he said grabbing both of her hands in his.

"I am so thankful you came into my life. You have taught me so much. I don't deserve a wonderful woman like you."

"I love you, Lee," Amanda said softly with tears in her eyes.

"I love you too, Amanda. I know I haven't talked to you about what happened in South America and I should have. So many other things have been going on, so I ignored it and tried to forget. While you and Jenny were gone, I started thinking about what happened to me. Amanda, they showed me pictures and told me my family was all dead. I didn't believe them, but everyday they told me these things."

"Lee, I know some of the things that happened. I read some of your report. I know I shouldn't have, but I was worried and you wouldn't talk to me."

"I'm sorry I didn't." Lee took Amanda's hand and they sat down on a bench near by. "Amanda, yesterday I made some changes with my life. I know I should have talked to you first, but.......I went up to New York to see Billy. I told him that he needs to find a new Section Chief, I resigned from that position."

"You did what! Don't tell me you are going back into the field!" She said in shock.

"No, I'm not. Every once in a while I am going to go in and help out with the new recruits and to advise on cases, but that is all I am going to do. I am tired of putting my life on the line, I don't want too have you and Jenny be alone. I want to spend more time with my family. I bought us some cows and some more horses. I think that barn needs more animals in it. There are so many more ideas I have for our home." Lee paused for a moment. "That is if you will ever forgive this jerk of a husband and live with him forever."

"But Lee, what about my job?"

"Well, that's up to you, you haven't been out in the field for a while, so I know that if you stay at the Agency you will still be safe. But I can't do it anymore. I don't want to."

Amanda just sat there silently looking into her husbands eye. He was wondering what was going through her mind until she titled her head up and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips and said, "It's going to be quite an adjustment but I do love you and I want you in our lives. Let's go home and start living our lives together as a normal family."

Lee was so excited at her comment that he lifted her up and spun her around in circles a couple of times. He knew life was going to be ok. He had his wife and his daughter and a chance to do something new with his life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There are two verses from two different songs that I love. Every time I hear them I think of Scarecrow and Mrs. King..................Both of these are from Shania Twain.

FROM THIS MOMENT ON
(I do swear that I'll always be there. I'd give anything
and everything and I will always care. Through weakness
and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better, for worse,
I will love you with every beat of my heart.)

YOU'RE STILL THE ONE
(When I first saw you, I saw love. And the
first time you touched me, I felt love. And
after all this time, you're still the one I love.)
 


END