Tell Me About the Good Old Days

Author:  Beth

Disclaimer: These characters are not mine and I do not intend to harm them. They belong to Warner Bros. and I promise to return them intact and no more worse for wear when I finish with them; the story, however, belongs to me.

Thanks to Brenda for beta reading my story…THANKS BRENDA!

Rating: PG

Time Frame: April 23, 2001

Archive:  Sure

Feedback:  <evil laugh> I would welcome it

"Lee?  Is guillotine spelled with one or two `l's?" Amanda asked, face contorted in concentration at the computer screen.

Lee was sitting in a chair next to the fireplace, reading a newspaper.  Without so much as looking up from his sport article, he
commented, "I'm pretty sure two."

"Thanks," was the muffled response from across the room.

A few minutes passed in silence before Amanda spoke up.  "Nope that isn't going to work" she mumbled.  A few more minutes of silence before, "Lee?  Do we have any rat poison in the house?"

Lee, still reading his paper said, "No, I don't think so."

After a beat, Lee looked up from his paper, narrowing his eyes at Amanda.  "Why in the world do you want to know if we have rat poison?  I don't even think that is used these days."

Without looking up from the screen, Amanda continued to type saying, "I'm trying to figure out how to kill you, and I
should probably use some kind of poison that's easy to attain.  What about cyanide…do you still carry your tablet around with you at all times?"

Lee was speechless for a moment, then stood up and strode over to where Amanda was typing.  "Uh, Amanda, may I ask why you're trying to kill me?"  Lee cleared his throat, running his fingers through his hair, as he tried to peer over Amanda's shoulder to the computer screen.

"Well, you know I read all of the `Scarecrow and Mrs. King' fan fiction, right?"

"Yes, although I don't know why…they just put us in weird situations and then try to get us out of it before the end of the story."

"Well, I've been reading these stories for how long?  A year?" Amanda turned around to face her husband.

"Yes, and sometimes you make me read the mushy ones," Lee commented wondering where this conversation was going.

"Well, lately people have been putting us in situations that, how shall we say?  Stretch the imagination.  So I just thought I'd
join the crowd and write a fan fiction where Amanda kills Lee.  Now, how would you like to die?" Amanda asked, turning back to the computer, poising her fingers over the keyboard.

"Well, that makes no sense.  Many people saw the series. You would never consider killing me.  Right?  We were there, weren't we?"  Lee brought over a chair from the dining room table.  He put it next to Amanda and sat down.

"No, Lee, that's the glory of it.  They have this thing called alternate universe.  We can do anything to the character that we
want, as long as we label it an `au'," Amanda explained, typing in the URL to a Scarecrow and Mrs. King fan fiction website.

Lee ran his fingers in his hair in frustration.  "I don't get it.  I thought there were tons of people out there that loved `Scarecrow
and Mrs. King'.

"Tons", Amanda agreed, scrolling through the fan fiction.

"Then, if they liked it, why do we need an alternate universe."

Amanda stopped scrolling and turned again to Lee.    "Well, some people see us as Barbie dolls.  They like to take us out, play with us then try to put us back where we were.  They figure since we're just dolls they can do whatever they want to with us."

"So, because of this, you're going to kill me," Lee asked, looking hesitantly at the computer monitor.

"Well, Lee, it's better than some of the things that have been done to us."

"Such as?" Lee asked, looking curiously at Amanda.

"Well, let's see…in the past two months, you've had an affair, I've lost a baby, you killed it by the way…"

"Wait just a minute…" Lee tried to intervene.

Amanda held up her hand, "No, Lee, it gets better."  She starts counting off on her fingers.   "I was raped, got pregnant with
his child, but this was after you killed him."

Lee looked at her incredulously, but remained silent.

"You decided to become gay after we'd been married for awhile.  I commit suicide, oh all sorts of fun stuff."

Lee stood up and started pacing furiously.  "Wait just a minute, people can't do that to us!  Didn't they watch the series?
How many people did I sleep with before we started dating?  I think it was obvious I wasn't gay!  Then I kill your baby?  Oh, that sounds like Lee!"

Amanda stood up and put a hand on Lee's shoulder.  "Would it make you feel better if I told you that you had to allow a doctor to kill the baby to save my life?"

Lee glared at Amanda "oh, yes, much better.  Look, if they're doing all of this stuff to us, that is totally wrong, why are you still
reading it?"

Amanda sighed and turned toward the computer.  "Well, some of the stories are really good.  I enjoy it…for the most part, people stay within context of the show, but then there's the few that like to get creative.  But, then I read some stories and have to shut off the computer halfway through the story because of what they're doing to us."

Lee turned Amanda around to face him.  He searched her face.  "Is it worth it?  Do you really want other people to read that you killed me?"

Amanda looked down for a moment.  "Of course not Lee.  It just seems that with all the stories coming out these days that people aren't interested in the true "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" anymore. They'd rather do weird things to us than make us true to our series."

Lee pulled Amanda close to him and hugged her.  She buried her face in his chest.  "I tell you what, let's make up our own
stories.  We don't have to post them.  We know what kind of people we're like and what we're likely to do and not do."

Amanda looked up at him.  "I think that's a good idea. Besides, I just couldn't figure out how to kill you."

Lee kissed her quickly before going over to the computer and shutting if off.  "I'm glad that's settled.  Next thing you know,
they're going to write about how we get divorced."